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The Story of Nickel and Dime

Nickel and Dime are a couple in love. Nickel is always busy with work while dime is having a rather relaxed schedule. They mostly see each other during the weekends. Due to Nickel’s lack of freedom, they especially cherish the time they can spend with each other. Dime tries to be considerate but sometimes would still fail to realize appropriate times to contact Nickel.

One day, Dime’s building is experiencing a power outage. With little things to do, Dime decided to call Nickel. Once Nickel has picked up the phone, she immediately felt that it might not have been a good time to call him so she asked if he was busy. He replied with no but also mentioned that he’s waiting to grab some food then he needs to get on the bus. Dime thought to herself that he’s free for chit chat so she started mentioning about her plans for the following weekend. Little does she know Nickel did not have time for chit chat and he ended the conversation hastily after he had grabbed the food. Before they ended the call, Dime cried, “What? I thought you said you can talk? Don’t leave me!” which had left a bad impression on Nickel because he was in a rush and he felt annoyed. Dime, on the other hand, felt being abandoned. The couple both upset, but both decided to carry on with their lives.

The next day they had to book some reservations. Dime called Nickel to make the reservations for she does not have the proper credentials. Nickel gave them to her and told her to call because it would be long distance for him. Over the phone, Dime complained about how the deadline is approaching and it would be Nickel’s fault if they don’t get in. She said it as a joke because she didn’t think getting in is a big deal anyway. However, it triggered Nickel’s annoyance at her. He responded with, “Stop complaining. Did you know that when you tried to keep me on the phone yesterday I was so annoyed I wanted to slap you?” Dime felt that was out of the line and very uncalled for, she replied saying that she asked if he could talk first. The conversation did not end well.

At night they started a conversation over msn. Nickel noticed Dime’s unusual low response rate and asked if she’s still mad about the earlier conversation. When she replied yes he started telling her how busy he really is and how annoying she was. Dime felt that if it was a normal day, he wouldn’t have said something like that to her, so she has nothing to apologize. She then thought that he’s being like this because he’s tired and possibly a bit stressed. But it doesn’t matter how she tries to fit into his shoes, she still felt that what he said was very rude. So she said good night to him and left it at that.

Nickel felt that Dime was being pretty immature and ignorant about this whole thing. Immature because she just left the conversation without explaining herself and ignorant because he feels she never understood how busy he really is, no matter how hard he tries to explain to her. He told Dime not to call him later tonight if she doesn’t want to talk about it now and then left the conversation. Nickel felt that every time they have a fight it’s because he got annoyed at her first. He started another conversation with Dime and told her that he doesn’t get mad easily but once he does, he could say really hurtful things. He could be a scary man. Dime concurred. They both hope that day won’t come along. Dime thought to herself that she needs to be more careful, not just to prevent him from getting mad at her but more to protect herself from getting hurt. Nickel asked Dime to bare with him sometimes for he does not want to get her hurt either.

Being angry can be very scary when you realize you can’t control your words and actions. It’s not even about how much you care or not care about the person you’re hurting, because when you are in that state, you don’t realize what kind of damage you’re doing and you couldn’t think through what kind of consequences may occur. Dime hopes Nickel could change that aspect of him but she knows that it’s probably a rather naive thought. For now she’s learning to be more laid back and let little things to slide. There’s no point in getting serious about something unless it’s worth the time. And for other times, being serious just makes you an unpleasant nutbag.

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Acting Nonchalant

Just recently I discovered some of my friends’ interesting mate selections. The reason I used the term mate is because they don’t seem to focus on one girl per say, so it’s really not that romantic. On top of that, they never really succeeded to the part where they get to date the girl so I guess I can’t call it dating selection. They become physically attracted to a girl, then starts the chasing without rationally thinking through whether if it could become a feasible relationship. As a result, they rarely succeed.

It got me thinking, what is the real reason behind this obsessive desperation towards the opposite sex? Is it just because they haven’t been with a girl long enough to call it a relationship? Is it due to friends who are currently involved, thus peer pressure? I couldn’t really justify it because I’m a girl. I can only speculate about why a girl wants to be involved in a relationship because she’ll feel insecure being single and such. But that’s usually based on one to one. Unlike how the guys are doing it.. sampling multiples on their plate.

I’d say from a logical perspective, the more you go after the higher the success rate would be. Although I’m not sure if this statistic theory is practical in real life dating cycle. I can see why some girls would prefer the guy to be a little desperate before they hit it off. Their way of thinking goes like this: if he’s desperate, he’ll appreciate me more and our love will thus be more passionate. Hmm.. I’m not exactly certain that it would go like that. Because think about it, if he was truly desperate, wouldn’t it mean he doesn’t care who he’s with in the first place? Perhaps the girl who he hit it off with was just one out of a zillion he sees potentials in? In other words, she’s not that special to him. Even worse, he might think that this girl is not as good as the others because she actually fell for him. I know this hypothetical guy sounds like an ass right now, but the truth is guys like that do exist.

The idea of just wanting someone, doesn’t matter who existed a long time ago. In fact, that’s pretty much how most of our parents became our parents back then. To them, it was the right time to get married, so they are being matched with someone either through friends or coworkers. Not exactly sure how it happens through western culture, but this is certainly similar to arranged marriages in South Asia. I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. Instead of trusting fate and your own encounters in daily life (which isn’t a lot since they don’t get to meet new people on a daily basis), you trust people around you to give you available suggestions. Back then, they usually just meet one person and that would be it.

Nowadays, it seems to me that being ready to get married became being ready to get involved, thus there’s a noticeable age shift. But the idea of doesn’t care to be with whom still persists. I’m sure my way of rationalizing single guys in my generation wouldn’t apply to everyone, but at least it fills up my own curiosity.

I do have one advice for actually getting a girl though. That would be to act nonchalant. But the sad part is I highly doubt any of the guys would be willing to admit that they’re desperate. They may not even know that they are..