Childhood friend – Wang Ying

As I mentioned before, I feel like I’ve grown apart with my friends in China. And the further away I am, surprisingly the more vivid they become in my memory. For example the recent Sex and the City movie stirred up so many thoughts of my childhood friend Wang Ying. You’d be surprised to hear that the very first time I heard of the show Sex and the City was on a school bus ride home in Grade 8 in Vancouver. Guess what I thought it was? I over heard my two friends talking about it on the bus and I was too shy to ask them about it because I thought they were talking about PORN!

I’m not kidding…

I was thinking OMG they’re brother and sisters, why are they talking about PORN?!

I thought it’d be too weird to ask them about it, so I kept that thought to myself. I was being reintroduced to the show a year later by Wang Ying while I was spending my summer in Beijing. She was in love with the show back then, I’m not so sure if she still is now. But I do remember her wanting to buy a necklace with “Carrie” on it.

The moment Wang Ying popped into my head, a few other episodes of encounters with her stepped through. I remember one summer going back to visit her, she had a poster of soccer player Beckham on her washroom door. I asked if she likes him and she replied, “Hell no, why do you think it’s on the washroom door?” and then she told me that she got it as a gift. The same summer, I went over again to hang out and I noticed that the poster located to her bedroom door. So I asked her if she likes him now, she replied, “Well, the guy I’m having a crush on likes him so he’s on my bedroom door now.”

Another scene that sort of got stuck in my head is when I offered her a sneaky trick. This was back in another summer I went back, but I’m not exactly sure which summer it was. She came with me to a book market to grab some reads. Before we left her house, her mom gave her some money and told her to buy a studying guide and mentioned that she could keep the rest of the money for other purchases. When we got there, she couldn’t find any study guide that she think will be useful. I told her to just the cheapest study guide and keep the rest of the money for other uses. (Yes, I’m sneaky like that..) But guess what she said? “Huh? Why? I didn’t see anything I like. I’ll just give her back all the money she gave me.”

When I was still studying in Beijing, I hung out with Wang Ying a lot. She always strike me as someone who’s got it all. She has the family that I’ve always wanted. She not just lives with loving parents, but I can see just how happy they are together. It’s not the fake happiness, it’s real, I can sense it when her mom offers to cook for us for dinner, I can sense it when her dad comes home late from work and still comes by to say hi, I can sense it whenever she wanted something her parents would go get it for her, whether it’s a computer or a rabbit or a dog. I wanted all of that as a kid, but I never got any of that. Well, I guess I do get some of that, but it’s being segmented into pieces. Like I’d get homemade breakfast by mom, on occasional weekends.

Nowadays I don’t really talk to her at all anymore. I don’t even remember when was the last time I saw her, maybe 4 years ago? The closest connection we have is through xiaonei, how pathetic is that? But as I said before, there’s no way to touch base through emails or msn anyway. I’ll just have to wait till I see her again.. maybe she’ll still be as funny as giving as I remembered her by.. or she might be completely changed to someone I can’t even recognize…

The Story of Nickel and Dime

Nickel and Dime are a couple in love. Nickel is always busy with work while dime is having a rather relaxed schedule. They mostly see each other during the weekends. Due to Nickel’s lack of freedom, they especially cherish the time they can spend with each other. Dime tries to be considerate but sometimes would still fail to realize appropriate times to contact Nickel.

One day, Dime’s building is experiencing a power outage. With little things to do, Dime decided to call Nickel. Once Nickel has picked up the phone, she immediately felt that it might not have been a good time to call him so she asked if he was busy. He replied with no but also mentioned that he’s waiting to grab some food then he needs to get on the bus. Dime thought to herself that he’s free for chit chat so she started mentioning about her plans for the following weekend. Little does she know Nickel did not have time for chit chat and he ended the conversation hastily after he had grabbed the food. Before they ended the call, Dime cried, “What? I thought you said you can talk? Don’t leave me!” which had left a bad impression on Nickel because he was in a rush and he felt annoyed. Dime, on the other hand, felt being abandoned. The couple both upset, but both decided to carry on with their lives.

The next day they had to book some reservations. Dime called Nickel to make the reservations for she does not have the proper credentials. Nickel gave them to her and told her to call because it would be long distance for him. Over the phone, Dime complained about how the deadline is approaching and it would be Nickel’s fault if they don’t get in. She said it as a joke because she didn’t think getting in is a big deal anyway. However, it triggered Nickel’s annoyance at her. He responded with, “Stop complaining. Did you know that when you tried to keep me on the phone yesterday I was so annoyed I wanted to slap you?” Dime felt that was out of the line and very uncalled for, she replied saying that she asked if he could talk first. The conversation did not end well.

At night they started a conversation over msn. Nickel noticed Dime’s unusual low response rate and asked if she’s still mad about the earlier conversation. When she replied yes he started telling her how busy he really is and how annoying she was. Dime felt that if it was a normal day, he wouldn’t have said something like that to her, so she has nothing to apologize. She then thought that he’s being like this because he’s tired and possibly a bit stressed. But it doesn’t matter how she tries to fit into his shoes, she still felt that what he said was very rude. So she said good night to him and left it at that.

Nickel felt that Dime was being pretty immature and ignorant about this whole thing. Immature because she just left the conversation without explaining herself and ignorant because he feels she never understood how busy he really is, no matter how hard he tries to explain to her. He told Dime not to call him later tonight if she doesn’t want to talk about it now and then left the conversation. Nickel felt that every time they have a fight it’s because he got annoyed at her first. He started another conversation with Dime and told her that he doesn’t get mad easily but once he does, he could say really hurtful things. He could be a scary man. Dime concurred. They both hope that day won’t come along. Dime thought to herself that she needs to be more careful, not just to prevent him from getting mad at her but more to protect herself from getting hurt. Nickel asked Dime to bare with him sometimes for he does not want to get her hurt either.

Being angry can be very scary when you realize you can’t control your words and actions. It’s not even about how much you care or not care about the person you’re hurting, because when you are in that state, you don’t realize what kind of damage you’re doing and you couldn’t think through what kind of consequences may occur. Dime hopes Nickel could change that aspect of him but she knows that it’s probably a rather naive thought. For now she’s learning to be more laid back and let little things to slide. There’s no point in getting serious about something unless it’s worth the time. And for other times, being serious just makes you an unpleasant nutbag.

Men who I admire

There are two kinds of men that I admire. One of them is a man who’s single and knows how to handle a rejection. The other is a man who’s involved and knows how to initiate a rejection.

TYPE I

I really have no clue why people would trash their ex, or simply the person who they went after but didn’t succeed. Because wouldn’t trashing them involve trashing yourself? I mean, after all, you were the one who went after that other person. So if that person really isn’t good enough for you, why would you fall for it anyway. How stupid does that make you, huh?

Over the years, I’ve heard certain things from the guys who I rejected said to others about me. Oh yea, people gossip about things like that, which is how I get to hear the things that I’m not supposed to. Some of which are understandable, but others were just plain stupid. There was this one comment that almost made me laugh. It was in Chinese, pretty much a pun intended joke commenting on I don’t eat so I’m skinny as a twig. I get that they were trying to make fun of me and trying to be offensive, but it’s not even achieving its original purpose. Because I’m not skinny and I do eat… if anything, Jim thinks I’m pretty chubby for an Asian girl.

I don’t like meeting strangers knowing that they might know some guy who I rejected before. Because I’m paranoid that these strangers might have heard something about me that I’m not aware of. But that’s my problem to deal with. I realize that if they get to know me better then they’d know the real me, and if they don’t then they’re just strangers and I shouldn’t care how a stranger thinks about me. But it still bugs me. I’d be lying if I said I never care how strangers think of me. And I think everyone cares to a certain degree. But I just feel there’s no need trash talk the person who you once felt attracted to. I’m going to quote Russel Peters, but in a totally different context intended, “Be a man! Do the right thing!” say it with a Chinese accent. 😛

TYPE II

The other kind is rather what I think all boyfriends should do. It’s probably harder for long distance relationships and the ones with lots of temptations. And I’m probably too naive to say this, but I do feel when two people are involved in a relationship, they should be faithful to each other. I think it is natural to feel being physically attracted to others, but underneath it all, it shouldn’t be worth it to risk your current relationship.

I hear stories about my friends’ boyfriends where they’d say things like, “I didn’t like her, she liked me; I didn’t kiss her, she kissed me; I didn’t take off her clothes, she took them off, I didn’t sleep with her, she slept with me…” They just don’t have the guts to admit that they did something wrong. They’d say sorry and doesn’t even know what they did wrong. They’d beg for forgiveness and the next time use the same excuses again. The excuse that they think never goes old is: I didn’t do anything! What they don’t realize is that’s what they’re doing wrong. They should have done something, they should have said NO! They should have been able to tell when the time is to draw the line.

It’s funny how my mom’s boyfriend has the same issue. This is what happens when you have a single mother who’s been involved in a relationship for 8 years and still hasn’t gotten married yet – you need to have a talk with the boyfriend. And that’s exactly what I did. Out of everything we’ve talked about, one of which is how he flirts with other women and it always pisses my mom off. It shocked me how a 40-something-year-old man doesn’t know when to say stop.

So there they are. Men who I admire, hopefully I’ll get to see more of them.

 

 

å°´å°¬

刚刚在随便阅览一些无聊的漫画。发现一部叫做“变身男孩”的,标为18禁。有点儿小好奇地去看了一下,发现其实就只是些微的BL而已。然后尴尬了一下,不知道为什么现在都20了,哦不,快21了,仍然会觉得18禁的书是禁书?

看来还是没有长大的自觉啊。仍然活在18岁以前的境界里。啊~

My new pet: Jim

Me: Jim, can we have a dog and two cats when we grow up?

Jim: …

Me: Jim, can we have a dog, two cats, and a rabbit when we grow up?

Jim: Only if you can take care of them, I’m only responsible for playing with them! *evil grin*

Me: *multiple smack attacks on Jim’s face*

Jim: Why don’t you just take care of me instead. I can be a pet. If you give me treats, I’ll do tricks for you.

Me: *thinking to myself that I’m gonna have one Jim, one dog, two cats, and a rabbit when I grow up*