My response to “Are Women Vampires?”

I went across this blog entry from Lynn’s blog – “Are Women Vampires?” I believe it’s written by one of her friends.

I find it sad how after so many freaking centuries, it seems like men still feel women evolve around them. Despite whether he’s stating the truth or not, despite whether women are or are not vampires, despite if women go for personalities or wealth, the bottom line is, women go for men. It’s not the fact that he feels “women are money-grubbing, blood-sucking, materialistic vampires that use sex as a weapon and turn men into zombies” that ticks me off, it’s the fact that he feels women seem to have this unbearable need to be with men that ticks me off. He’s under an invisible assumption that women need to be with men. This leads me to think, do women need men more so than men need women? I couldn’t help but to wonder, why are men so full of themselves? Don’t even try to deny it, the concept of men > women is pretty much embedded in our society. I don’t even want to discuss that topic because it seems useless to talk about it. (It’d be an interesting topic, but I just don’t feel like writing about it.)

I don’t want to and will not comment on whether I agree with his statement of women target men who are wealthy more so than men with personalities. I just want to say that if women do go for men who are more successful than they are in every other way, the relationship simply won’t work out. Despite you are a man or a woman, you’d still have some degree of dignity, so how would you feel if you are under a roof with someone who does everything better than you? There has to be some balance, the woman has to be better in some aspects that the man simply cannot match. I also don’t believe that successful women only go for even more successful men because if they are already superior in that aspect, they’d view being successful as something that’s trivial. For example, I don’t think I’d be very attracted to some guy who’s good at painting, I’d see him as a threat, because it’d make me want to draw something that’s even better. Whereas if he excels in music, I’d probably feel he’s very talented and thus attractive. This works the same way in making money in my opinion. Just take a look at the successful women in the TV series “Cashmere Mafia“. I feel the reason women go for successful men is because the ones who do go for them are the ones who aren’t good at being successful themselves! I can only imagine myself going after a man simply because he makes a lot of money if I am bad at keeping up with a lifestyle that I cannot afford. Thus I will need to rely on marrying rich to satisfy my urges. I believe this is true for every woman. I also believe that with the rise of equalities in work fields and study fields (even more encouraging for women in many fields) that this will soon be changed! Women with ideas will soon realize that they no longer need to rely on men for such urges, thus will not see that as a primary criteria for mate selection. This also indicates that my opinion on his statement relies on whether I believe all women have urges for a lifestyle they cannot afford. (You can judge whether I believe that’s true or not.)

On the ride back to Toronto, Mark mentioned that if a guy does not watch TV and does not play games, then he must be awesome. I then mentioned that Jim was like that but he’s not awesome. (I’m very bitter, yes I know.) This sort of relate to “successful men”, which is why I’m bringing it up. I told Mark that Jim focuses on school and work to keep himself busy. When he’s in school, he tries hard to keep his grades up and goes to the gym regularily when he’s not busy with course load. During coop terms, since he is very career driven, he’s chosen to work on the trading floor thus getting very little time for himself. 12 hours of work was fairly typical. He simply has no time to watch neither TV shows nor being addicted to some online game. If he keeps this up, by this, I mean being determined and being career driven, he’d be pretty successful, right? (In terms of making money strictly.) I guess the chance of him being making top cash is questionable, but I’d say there’s no way in hell that he’d be making below average salary. (He has a supportive family, both emotionally and financially.) But our relationship didn’t work out and it’s pretty much because he is so keen on being successful in the future. Well, not quite, but I feel it has something to do with it. Perhaps it’s because that he feels the need to excel in that area more so than relationship that brought an end to us. Ultimately, there wasn’t enough care devoted strictly to our relationship compared with the rest. I think that there will be a woman out there to drive him crazy though, it just wasn’t me. When a guy can still deduce logical statements to argue that you are wrong, even when you are crying, you know he’s not the one. I guess I learned that the hard way. But I did learn to counter argue while I’m in emotional distress, so I guess it’s true that you do learn something in everything.

So now, as I revisit my first paragraph, I realize that I’m a bit carried away as I encountered the Jim topic. (It’s the first time I wrote about it after the breakup. I find the very fact that we can still casually chat on MSN an indication of weak bond while dating.) I guess the bottom line is – I believe in common interest and opposite attract, but I don’t believe that women are vampires. Because based on my belief, if women are vampires, then so are men. When women are desperate for love, there will always be more men desperate to get laid (with or without love). The need is mutual and the attraction is mutual. QED.

























duoduo___12/21/03 9:09 PM












this is matt’s suggestion

– have you kissed someone this year that his/her name starts with a J?

erm.. no… >_> lol

– how many bathing suits do you own?

– do you like the color green?
i dont mind it.. prefers certain shades more so than others
– do you have a crush on someone?
define crush

– are you in a relationship?
define relationship

– ever eaten soap?
define soap.. lol no i havent

– what song are you listening to right now?
song? if you define song to be matt’s calc prof, then yes.. 

– is there a place you would like to visit?
yes.. beijing.. 

– have you ever fallen into a mud puddle?
yes.. and i cried like a baby

– do you like winter?
no i hate it.. i love summer

– does your screen name have numbers in it?
at the moment 

– are you in a band?
not at the moment

– do you like parties?
no i hate loud music and room filled with strangers

– what are you afraid of?
being abandoned

– how long have you had your Facebook for?
since 1B

– favorite beverage?
don’t really care what i drink.. i just dont drink pop.. the bubbles hurt my tongue 

– if you could own a monkey, would you?
why not =D

– do you own anything from American Eagle?
yes.. who doesnt?

– do you listen to rap?
not really

– did you graduate this year?
sadly no

– favorite Disney movie?

– do you like fruit?
yes love them

– have you ever given a random person your number?
yes but i gave him my number in binary
he looked confused

– is there a calendar in your room?
no.. well, unless you count my laptop as a calendar

– what are you excited for?

– are you an artist?
i’d like to say so

– do you have an addiction?
not right now

– do you like s’mores?
they’re alright

– do you like hugs and kisses?
yes.. prefer hugs over kisses

– do you act gangster?
no.. unless i want linna to develop a crush on me, in that case, i’ll try my best

– you’re in the hospital, who comes to visit you?
hm mom and.. whoever lives close by and convenient

– If alcohol were banned, what would your reaction be?
i’d go to another country

– Your CD collection is repossessed. But you may keep one.
hm.. then use a laptop

– Do you believe world peace is possible?

– I’m a genie. Name your wish?
to become a genie

– What are you obsessive about?
hm nothing really.. i dont consider myself very zhizhuo

– Leather face is in the kitchen. Will you fight to victory, or hide from him?

– Do people underestimate you?
not from memory right now

– When you’re in a bad mood, what will always put you in a better mood?
someone to talk to

– Honestly, do you talk about Myspace in real life?

– Have you met someone online in person?

– What do you hope to have accomplished by the end of this year?
stay alive.. lol
erm.. become a better painter because i’ve always been more of a drawer.. figure out whether if im suitable for positions such as management roles for next coop.. finance to see if i can fly back to beijing.. settle down in the new place with mom (finding tenant, buying furniture, fancying the place up).. read some more and write some more.. 

– Do you believe minimum wage should be raised?
i dont know enough to comment on that

– If someone at a party gives you “the look” how do you respond to it?
pretend i didnt see it 

– Do you have any really crazy relatives?

– Pretend you’re 15 deep in beers. Describe what you would be doing?

– Does everyone in your life know the real you?

– Last thing you said?
lol i said.. “wtf ur prof doesnt allow ppl to use laptop?” and then i hid behind the last row.. sitting on the ground right now..

– Do you know anyone in prison?
doubt it

– When is the last time you ate Peanut butter and jelly?
i never ate it together

– When did you last have a home cooked meal?
last week

– Name who you miss.
i think about random ppl when im feeling lonely, is that missing? maybe i’ve grown to be adapt to the feeling of miss.. its part of me already

– Are you named after a grandparent?
yes.. actually.. my chinese name was SUPPOSED to sound like shi.. which is my grandma’s last name

– Who loves you?
define love

– Have you ever broken a rib?

– Last song you heard?
hm the song kevin was playing in his car this morning

– What was the last thing you ate?
french vanilla from timmys

– How do you feel RIGHT now?
matt’s prof is so freaking loud.. i feel annoyed

– Are you scared of anything right now?
yes scared of changes

– Have you driven anything today?
hm no

– Whats your hair like?
err its like.. hair

– Would you ever work for the border patrol?

– Who’s car were you in last?
kevin’s car

– Who is better 50 cent or the game?
cant compare, dunno anything about them

– What is the biggest age gap you’ve dated?
hm.. a year and half

– Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?
no.. none that i know of..  

– do you vote?
only when i have to

– Are you a vegetarian?
no i eat animals.. 

– Do you worry about global warming?

– do you like polar bears?
i’ve never looked at them up close.. but i imagine them to be quite vicious.. unless they’re exactly like how they appear to be in coke commercials

– Do you like alligators?
no not really

– Do you have to get your wisdom teeth out?
not sure yet

– Ashley or Mary-Kate?
no preference

– Do you wear your sister’s clothes?
if i have one, i would

– Where were you an hour ago?
in matts calc class.. now im in his.. whatever class

– Life…. what do you think about it?
define life 

– Which do you enjoy more: Soccer or Hockey?
no preference

– Is your boyfriend/girlfriend a marine?

– What are you doing tonight?
i dunno yet



fuk this survey is so boring

matts class is so boring

i hate my gap



Perhaps it’s because I’m living in a divorced family, or perhaps it’s because of my skeptical nature, I never quite understood the concept of marriage. When I was young, I thought of it as a legit way of living with someone else. I was under the impression that people will look down on you if you live with someone but is not married with that person. I think I developed that idea based on TV shows. A bit later, I found out that moving in with someone is actually a common practise in a relationship. In fact, my uncle lived with his girlfriend for 15 years before they got married. They have no children. So then I thought to myself, maybe marriage is like a security check, you know, for financial purposes. But not long ago, I found out that if you live with someone for more than half a year, you’ll have to split everything. That includes the house, even if one side made the purchase and it’s only under that person’s name, after living with someone else, the house will be split between the two. So now I wonder, what’s the purpose of marriage?

A common definition for marriage is a commitment between two people to stay in the relationship. So in a sense, we can say it’s a mutual agreement. A promise, if you will. But it’s a promise that can be broken if agreement does not stay mutual. For every other form of contract, there is an ending date, except marriage. Instead of making divorce so readily available, they should have an ending date to marriage with strict clause stating high profile punishment if one side wants to terminate the agreement. Once the contract ends, two parties may agree to extend or withdraw. For example, if I think the guy I’m dating is not bad, I can sign a 5 year marriage with him, just to test out the water. This means in 5 years, I am devoting myself into this relationship and that I cannot leave him. After 5 years, If I’m still on good terms with this guy, I can extend it, to maybe 10~20 years. For 10~20 years, it’d be a commitment that possibly involve giving birth and raising a child or two with him. Again, within those years, I cannot leave him nor the family. Thus during the key years of a child, the parents cannot be separated.

What I’m proposing is just an idea. There are obvious flaws in it just like the marriage system we have now. But I feel it makes marriage a bond that is a bit stronger. For a period of time, I did not believe in getting married. I simply don’t see the purpose of it, other than the general social trend. Marriage is just a piece of paper, just like a promise is just a few words coming out of someone’s mouth. They’re meaningless to me. Of course it depends on coming out of whom, but still, I feel nothing is forever, nothing lasts eternity. Everything that is set on a timeless time frame is bound to be terminated sooner or later. I remember reading this romance novel where they guy promised the girl, “I know you feel insecure and longs for a sense of foreverness. I cannot promise you forever, for I do not know the future. But I can promise myself to you for as long as I live.” I thought it was quite touching, yet I couldn’t help but to wonder, how can someone be so sure to give such a promise?