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benben is a genius!!!

Today I discovered something amazing. The discovery ultimately led to my strong belief that my dog, Benben, is indeed a GENIUS!!! Benben ate 瓜子!! He cracked it open with his teeth and ate the seed inside leaving the shell on the ground!! Please keep in mind that this is a task that many children cannot master at a young age! Benben not only ate one, but three! He successfully cracked it open and selectively chosen to only eat the seed inside ever since the first try! WOW, MY DOG IS ONE HELL OF AN AMAZING DOG!!! BENBEN ROCKS!!!!!!

For those of you who cannot read Chinese, this is what 瓜子 is:
http://www.gdfs.gov.cn/jkys/UploadFiles_5120/200712/20071206093804369.JPG

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My response to “Are Women Vampires?”

I went across this blog entry from Lynn’s blog – “Are Women Vampires?” I believe it’s written by one of her friends.

I find it sad how after so many freaking centuries, it seems like men still feel women evolve around them. Despite whether he’s stating the truth or not, despite whether women are or are not vampires, despite if women go for personalities or wealth, the bottom line is, women go for men. It’s not the fact that he feels “women are money-grubbing, blood-sucking, materialistic vampires that use sex as a weapon and turn men into zombies” that ticks me off, it’s the fact that he feels women seem to have this unbearable need to be with men that ticks me off. He’s under an invisible assumption that women need to be with men. This leads me to think, do women need men more so than men need women? I couldn’t help but to wonder, why are men so full of themselves? Don’t even try to deny it, the concept of men > women is pretty much embedded in our society. I don’t even want to discuss that topic because it seems useless to talk about it. (It’d be an interesting topic, but I just don’t feel like writing about it.)

I don’t want to and will not comment on whether I agree with his statement of women target men who are wealthy more so than men with personalities. I just want to say that if women do go for men who are more successful than they are in every other way, the relationship simply won’t work out. Despite you are a man or a woman, you’d still have some degree of dignity, so how would you feel if you are under a roof with someone who does everything better than you? There has to be some balance, the woman has to be better in some aspects that the man simply cannot match. I also don’t believe that successful women only go for even more successful men because if they are already superior in that aspect, they’d view being successful as something that’s trivial. For example, I don’t think I’d be very attracted to some guy who’s good at painting, I’d see him as a threat, because it’d make me want to draw something that’s even better. Whereas if he excels in music, I’d probably feel he’s very talented and thus attractive. This works the same way in making money in my opinion. Just take a look at the successful women in the TV series “Cashmere Mafia“. I feel the reason women go for successful men is because the ones who do go for them are the ones who aren’t good at being successful themselves! I can only imagine myself going after a man simply because he makes a lot of money if I am bad at keeping up with a lifestyle that I cannot afford. Thus I will need to rely on marrying rich to satisfy my urges. I believe this is true for every woman. I also believe that with the rise of equalities in work fields and study fields (even more encouraging for women in many fields) that this will soon be changed! Women with ideas will soon realize that they no longer need to rely on men for such urges, thus will not see that as a primary criteria for mate selection. This also indicates that my opinion on his statement relies on whether I believe all women have urges for a lifestyle they cannot afford. (You can judge whether I believe that’s true or not.)

On the ride back to Toronto, Mark mentioned that if a guy does not watch TV and does not play games, then he must be awesome. I then mentioned that Jim was like that but he’s not awesome. (I’m very bitter, yes I know.) This sort of relate to “successful men”, which is why I’m bringing it up. I told Mark that Jim focuses on school and work to keep himself busy. When he’s in school, he tries hard to keep his grades up and goes to the gym regularily when he’s not busy with course load. During coop terms, since he is very career driven, he’s chosen to work on the trading floor thus getting very little time for himself. 12 hours of work was fairly typical. He simply has no time to watch neither TV shows nor being addicted to some online game. If he keeps this up, by this, I mean being determined and being career driven, he’d be pretty successful, right? (In terms of making money strictly.) I guess the chance of him being making top cash is questionable, but I’d say there’s no way in hell that he’d be making below average salary. (He has a supportive family, both emotionally and financially.) But our relationship didn’t work out and it’s pretty much because he is so keen on being successful in the future. Well, not quite, but I feel it has something to do with it. Perhaps it’s because that he feels the need to excel in that area more so than relationship that brought an end to us. Ultimately, there wasn’t enough care devoted strictly to our relationship compared with the rest. I think that there will be a woman out there to drive him crazy though, it just wasn’t me. When a guy can still deduce logical statements to argue that you are wrong, even when you are crying, you know he’s not the one. I guess I learned that the hard way. But I did learn to counter argue while I’m in emotional distress, so I guess it’s true that you do learn something in everything.

So now, as I revisit my first paragraph, I realize that I’m a bit carried away as I encountered the Jim topic. (It’s the first time I wrote about it after the breakup. I find the very fact that we can still casually chat on MSN an indication of weak bond while dating.) I guess the bottom line is – I believe in common interest and opposite attract, but I don’t believe that women are vampires. Because based on my belief, if women are vampires, then so are men. When women are desperate for love, there will always be more men desperate to get laid (with or without love). The need is mutual and the attraction is mutual. QED.

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Marriage

Perhaps it’s because I’m living in a divorced family, or perhaps it’s because of my skeptical nature, I never quite understood the concept of marriage. When I was young, I thought of it as a legit way of living with someone else. I was under the impression that people will look down on you if you live with someone but is not married with that person. I think I developed that idea based on TV shows. A bit later, I found out that moving in with someone is actually a common practise in a relationship. In fact, my uncle lived with his girlfriend for 15 years before they got married. They have no children. So then I thought to myself, maybe marriage is like a security check, you know, for financial purposes. But not long ago, I found out that if you live with someone for more than half a year, you’ll have to split everything. That includes the house, even if one side made the purchase and it’s only under that person’s name, after living with someone else, the house will be split between the two. So now I wonder, what’s the purpose of marriage?

A common definition for marriage is a commitment between two people to stay in the relationship. So in a sense, we can say it’s a mutual agreement. A promise, if you will. But it’s a promise that can be broken if agreement does not stay mutual. For every other form of contract, there is an ending date, except marriage. Instead of making divorce so readily available, they should have an ending date to marriage with strict clause stating high profile punishment if one side wants to terminate the agreement. Once the contract ends, two parties may agree to extend or withdraw. For example, if I think the guy I’m dating is not bad, I can sign a 5 year marriage with him, just to test out the water. This means in 5 years, I am devoting myself into this relationship and that I cannot leave him. After 5 years, If I’m still on good terms with this guy, I can extend it, to maybe 10~20 years. For 10~20 years, it’d be a commitment that possibly involve giving birth and raising a child or two with him. Again, within those years, I cannot leave him nor the family. Thus during the key years of a child, the parents cannot be separated.

What I’m proposing is just an idea. There are obvious flaws in it just like the marriage system we have now. But I feel it makes marriage a bond that is a bit stronger. For a period of time, I did not believe in getting married. I simply don’t see the purpose of it, other than the general social trend. Marriage is just a piece of paper, just like a promise is just a few words coming out of someone’s mouth. They’re meaningless to me. Of course it depends on coming out of whom, but still, I feel nothing is forever, nothing lasts eternity. Everything that is set on a timeless time frame is bound to be terminated sooner or later. I remember reading this romance novel where they guy promised the girl, “I know you feel insecure and longs for a sense of foreverness. I cannot promise you forever, for I do not know the future. But I can promise myself to you for as long as I live.” I thought it was quite touching, yet I couldn’t help but to wonder, how can someone be so sure to give such a promise?

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An An the Pilot

As I stand on the bus searching for my pass, I realized that I had left it at home again.. for the second time this term. The bus driver was one of the really polite ones. He asked me to sit down and take my time, but I know I won’t be able to find it anyway, so I paid by change. Luckily I had change.

I felt really uncomfortable today, getting car sick and everything. As I got out of the subway, I realized that I’m feeling that pressure on my chest again. The type of feeling I get every time the sky’s going to cry. But I remember checking the weather this morning and it says it’ll be sunny all day long, so what the heck is wrong with me? When I got to work, on the 8th floor, I can barely breath properly. I had to take a deep breathe every few minutes, and I only felt like lying in my chair, didn’t even wanna lift my arm. An an the pilot suggested that even though it might not rain, the air pressure could’ve still been too high. He checked and confirmed his point. Something like a 2.229 difference? I didn’t read the source..

Side Conversation:

An an – What are you having for lunch?

me – You.

An an – Ok.

me – Go cook yourself up.

An an – I’ll be in the oven, wait for me to be ready.

 

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WTF?!

I lived my whole life thinking that my Chinese name is pronounced as shi2, but Lu proved me wrong (or semi-wrong, or not wrong at all) yesterday. Okay maybe I should clarify it to be, Lu introduced a new pronunciation to my name that may or may not be 100% official. The sound he introduced is chi3. It’s stated in 1999 edition of Cihai (the big ass dictionary used as an official guidance in China). Honestly speaking, shao shi doesn’t sound like a girl’s name. It’s sad enough that I’m shao shi, but being called shao chi is just simply unacceptable! It sounds so so bad.. I can hear my silent scream: I’m a freaking girl!!

Several years ago, maybe 8, maybe 10, I need to varify my Chinese name at the customs because they don’t even have my name in their workstation database. They’d call help desk support to confirm that my Chinese passport is “correct”. Some years later, I was able to find this one Chinese input system that has my name, obviously back then it’s shi2. Nowadays I use Sogou Pinyin and my name is shi2. But Lu pointed out that if you use the Chinese Pinyin Input on Linux, they only have chi3 and not shi2. I also checked various online sources. Not many sites list the definiton of my name, since it is so rare, but the ones that do have it, some have shi, some have chi, and one site listed both.

I’m so confused right now.. 姼?

 

PS – Not to mention I bet with Lu and now I’m one cookie down =(

 

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When does it become a personal matter?

On my way to work this morning, I was lucky enough to find a seat on the regular bus routine. But just after one short stop, I had to get off the bus.

The person who triggered the event is some guy between the age of 18-25ish. Many people later referred to him as “a kid”, perhaps because what he did cannot be described as grownupish… According to what I over heard from the bus driver, the kid only paid $1.55 for his $2.75 adult ttc ticket. He started arguing with the bus driver how he put 8 quarters in, which I quickly calculated in my head and it still doesn’t add up to 2.75, so I didn’t quite get why he brought that up. But apparently the bus driver thought it is relevant so he raised his voice and said no you have 4 quarters and a nickle, you only have 1.55 in here. I silently laughed in my head because clearly both of them can’t do simple math calculations. But it IS clear that bus driver is not letting the kid slip with his loose change and the kid is not stepping down the bus to let go what he already invested in that enclosed jar.

To be honest, I wanted to go up front to just give him the money. But I was a bit further away and it’s going to take me some time to tumble over there with my heels. Besides, they soon got sort of heated up with the argument of however many quarters the kid threw in. So I’m kinda scared I’d get into that ugliness. Then, before anyone realized what had happened, the bus driver announced that he had called the police and that he is not driving until the policeman arrives. Thus what was supposedly someone else’s matter became of concern for the whole bus worth of people.

It is not surprising that people were very angry. One lady kept on cursing at the kid who wouldn’t just leave the bus. Another lady started rambling on with poor English (maybe not poor, just has a strong accent) about the ttc strike. Then a black lady, looking very angry and fed up with all of this “nonsense”, took some change from her purse and attempted to give them to the kid. But by now it has became apparent to the kid that this is no longer a change issue, he has self-respect, you know? I predicted that he’ll turn her down, which he did, so personally I was giggling in my head. I tried very hard to keep my smile up side down, because everyone else was looking so angry.

I just found this to be a perfect example of how ignorant and inconsiderate people can be. If only someone could’ve offered the kid some change before it got out of hands; if only the bus driver could’ve been less of an ass about it in the first place. I’m not saying that it is okay for someone to get on the bus and not bring enough money. But I mean, it’s not like it’s inexcusable either? The bus driver was pretty mean about the whole ordeal, he was the one who raised the voice first. It is pretty insulting because he’s essentially calling the kid cheap. If I was in that position, it’d be pretty difficult to still smile at him or beg to stay on the bus.

I felt like people on the bus (including myself), all deserved it. Because we could’ve considered other people’s matter as our own matter. If only we had shown some more sympathy and care towards people around us, we wouldn’t have been all thrown out of the bus. For me, personally, I feel I should’ve stepped up and gave him some change before it all went downhill. But I was simply too lazy. I’ve always known for a fact that being selfless can return the favor. I always told people that it is okay to be selfish, but we should all be smart about it. Because a lot of the times I find that in order to be selfish, we need to be selfless first for it to work in our advantage. Perhaps the real question to always keep in mind is, when does it become a personal matter? And always try to take on some actions before it does become our own matter.

Afterwards we got on another bus. A lot of people, mostly women, started calling their friends/coworkers about the incident. They all sounded so innocent for being late since there was an “accident”. None of them felt that they should take any blame for it. Maybe my kind of thinking is too rare..

 

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ER…

If you live in Toronto and you don’t sit at home all day long, you’d see these random er ad campaigns all over the city (the subway station yonge and bloor is pretty much covered in them):


I’m not sure if others are as curious as me, but it’s still got people talking. So in terms of stirring up a conversation, it might’ve succeeded, but in terms of advertising whichever company, it’s not doing any good. Especially when I finally figured out which company was behind it and what the actual ads are supposed to be. I’m pretty much disappointed:


Seriously, I don’t see the association with “er” and Bell??? Er.. Bell just got dumber? Despite the idiotic stealth attempt, neither does the blue type font make me feel Bell is any more superior than Apple, if anything, it’s saying they’re a copycat..

 

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This kid has manners that are equivalent to benben’s!

I was just outside casually walking my dog, Benben. It’s a breezy summer day, flowers blooming everywhere, every inch of my exposed skin is bathed under the sweet sunshine. A melody is flowing in my head as I walk down the street, despite Benben’s irrational pulling here and there. But I mean I can’t blame him, his heart is probably pumping with joy so he can’t really control his own movements. Yes, I’m that kind of parents, the kind who blames their kids’ bad manners everywhere except the kid himself.

The title really wasn’t trying to praise Benben’s behavior, but rather a downgrade to the neighbor boy. So as I walk down the street, silently humming the tone in my head.. oh the reason I was being silent about this is because I see two kids playing catch by the side walk, so as this is happening, I saw the boy asking the girl to do something. Then afterwards, the girl walks towards me holding her ball with a giggling face. My mind was still in relaxed mood, didn’t give it time to think about why she’s like that. She stops in front of me, turned around and walks back. But she’d occasionally turn around and giggle some more. My head is still in relaxed mood, still didn’t catch onto their trick. But Benben did, he starts to bark at her hysterically, well, not quite, but it sorta scared her a bit. I see her running back quickly and hands over the ball to the boy. I felt like I should stop Benben, so I walked over to the other side of the street. Just when I landed on the other side, the boy yelled at us, “STUPID DOG!” Loud and clear. And then it hit me, oh so the boy probably told the girl to hit Benben with the ball.

Erm, like any parents, I first felt humiliated. What?! They want to hit my kid (dog)? These brats, who do they think they are? I remember turning around giving them a dirty look. But since they’re kids, I felt like I shouldn’t yell back at them. It got me thinking though, what’s the difference between their behavior and Benben’s? I’m not even going to go easy on Benben because he’s a dog. There are dogs with good manners and dogs with bad manners. Dogs with good manners listen to their owners’ commands and should behave friendly to strangers. Benben has pretty good manners at home, but is a total wild card outside. Which is kind of similar to these kids, don’t you think? I’m sure they’ll behave just fine at home, but once they get outside, they’re like little monsters. Take my encounter for example, sure enough that Benben’s barking is very rude, but the kid’s yelling isn’t any better. I couldn’t help but to wonder, are they equally socially incapable? Maybe kids that age, and dogs Benben’s age are both bound to be leashed with their moms. The only difference here would be I’m constraint by law to keep Benben on my leash, yet that boy’s mom isn’t.