My response to “Are Women Vampires?”

I went across this blog entry from Lynn’s blog – “Are Women Vampires?” I believe it’s written by one of her friends.

I find it sad how after so many freaking centuries, it seems like men still feel women evolve around them. Despite whether he’s stating the truth or not, despite whether women are or are not vampires, despite if women go for personalities or wealth, the bottom line is, women go for men. It’s not the fact that he feels “women are money-grubbing, blood-sucking, materialistic vampires that use sex as a weapon and turn men into zombies” that ticks me off, it’s the fact that he feels women seem to have this unbearable need to be with men that ticks me off. He’s under an invisible assumption that women need to be with men. This leads me to think, do women need men more so than men need women? I couldn’t help but to wonder, why are men so full of themselves? Don’t even try to deny it, the concept of men > women is pretty much embedded in our society. I don’t even want to discuss that topic because it seems useless to talk about it. (It’d be an interesting topic, but I just don’t feel like writing about it.)

I don’t want to and will not comment on whether I agree with his statement of women target men who are wealthy more so than men with personalities. I just want to say that if women do go for men who are more successful than they are in every other way, the relationship simply won’t work out. Despite you are a man or a woman, you’d still have some degree of dignity, so how would you feel if you are under a roof with someone who does everything better than you? There has to be some balance, the woman has to be better in some aspects that the man simply cannot match. I also don’t believe that successful women only go for even more successful men because if they are already superior in that aspect, they’d view being successful as something that’s trivial. For example, I don’t think I’d be very attracted to some guy who’s good at painting, I’d see him as a threat, because it’d make me want to draw something that’s even better. Whereas if he excels in music, I’d probably feel he’s very talented and thus attractive. This works the same way in making money in my opinion. Just take a look at the successful women in the TV series “Cashmere Mafia“. I feel the reason women go for successful men is because the ones who do go for them are the ones who aren’t good at being successful themselves! I can only imagine myself going after a man simply because he makes a lot of money if I am bad at keeping up with a lifestyle that I cannot afford. Thus I will need to rely on marrying rich to satisfy my urges. I believe this is true for every woman. I also believe that with the rise of equalities in work fields and study fields (even more encouraging for women in many fields) that this will soon be changed! Women with ideas will soon realize that they no longer need to rely on men for such urges, thus will not see that as a primary criteria for mate selection. This also indicates that my opinion on his statement relies on whether I believe all women have urges for a lifestyle they cannot afford. (You can judge whether I believe that’s true or not.)

On the ride back to Toronto, Mark mentioned that if a guy does not watch TV and does not play games, then he must be awesome. I then mentioned that Jim was like that but he’s not awesome. (I’m very bitter, yes I know.) This sort of relate to “successful men”, which is why I’m bringing it up. I told Mark that Jim focuses on school and work to keep himself busy. When he’s in school, he tries hard to keep his grades up and goes to the gym regularily when he’s not busy with course load. During coop terms, since he is very career driven, he’s chosen to work on the trading floor thus getting very little time for himself. 12 hours of work was fairly typical. He simply has no time to watch neither TV shows nor being addicted to some online game. If he keeps this up, by this, I mean being determined and being career driven, he’d be pretty successful, right? (In terms of making money strictly.) I guess the chance of him being making top cash is questionable, but I’d say there’s no way in hell that he’d be making below average salary. (He has a supportive family, both emotionally and financially.) But our relationship didn’t work out and it’s pretty much because he is so keen on being successful in the future. Well, not quite, but I feel it has something to do with it. Perhaps it’s because that he feels the need to excel in that area more so than relationship that brought an end to us. Ultimately, there wasn’t enough care devoted strictly to our relationship compared with the rest. I think that there will be a woman out there to drive him crazy though, it just wasn’t me. When a guy can still deduce logical statements to argue that you are wrong, even when you are crying, you know he’s not the one. I guess I learned that the hard way. But I did learn to counter argue while I’m in emotional distress, so I guess it’s true that you do learn something in everything.

So now, as I revisit my first paragraph, I realize that I’m a bit carried away as I encountered the Jim topic. (It’s the first time I wrote about it after the breakup. I find the very fact that we can still casually chat on MSN an indication of weak bond while dating.) I guess the bottom line is – I believe in common interest and opposite attract, but I don’t believe that women are vampires. Because based on my belief, if women are vampires, then so are men. When women are desperate for love, there will always be more men desperate to get laid (with or without love). The need is mutual and the attraction is mutual. QED.